Discussion Guide: Turning Conflict into Reconciliation

Desired Takeaway
True reconciliation is rooted in grace-filled truth. As followers of Jesus, we’re called not just to avoid conflict but to step into it with courage, humility, and a desire to restore. This discussion will explore how spiritual formation happens when we learn to navigate messy situations with redemptive love.

Icebreaker
What’s something you’ve fixed or restored that seemed broken beyond repair? (Could be anything—an object, a relationship, a plant, etc.)

Lean In (Warm-up Conversation)
When you hear the phrase “church is messy,” what comes to mind? Can you share a time (without naming names) when you experienced the messiness of community—either in church or somewhere else?

Look Down (Explore the Word)
  • Read 1 Corinthians 5:1-13 and 2 Corinthians 2:3-8 together.
  • What stands out to you in Paul’s response to the situation in Corinth?
  • Why do you think Paul takes such a strong stance in 1 Corinthians, and then urges forgiveness in 2 Corinthians?
  • Read Matthew 18:15-17
  • How should Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 18 shape the way we think about conflict, confrontation, and restoration?
  • What similarities and differences do you notice between Jesus’ instructions and Paul’s approach?

Look Out (Make it Real in the World)
In what ways does our broader culture echo the culture of Corinth—especially around issues like tolerance, sexuality, or truth?
How might the church today be tempted to “be proud” of its openness or avoid confronting sin in the name of love?

Look In (Apply it Personally)
  • Why do you think it's so difficult to confront someone in the church when they are in the wrong?
  • Have you ever been on either side of a “grace + truth” moment—either lovingly corrected or the one doing the correcting? What did you learn from it?
  • How can we tell the difference between judgment that harms and correction that restores?

Live It Out (Imagine Gospel Impact)
What would the church look like if we truly embraced a ministry of reconciliation as described in 2 Corinthians 5:18–20?
How would our relationships change if we pursued restoration over cancellation, grace over avoidance, and truth over silence?

Optional Exercises for the Week
  • Write a Letter (Even If You Don’t Send It): Identify a broken relationship in your life and write a letter that speaks both truth and grace. Ask: What would reconciliation look like?
  • Practice Matthew 18: Think of a small conflict or offense in your community. Pray for courage, and then gently pursue reconciliation, beginning with a one-on-one conversation.
  • Fast from Gossip: For one week, refrain from speaking negatively about anyone. Use the time to pray for people instead of talking about them.

Prayer Prompt
Invite God to reveal areas in your life where you may be avoiding necessary conversations or holding onto offense. Pray:
“Lord, help me be a person of reconciliation. Give me the courage to speak truth in love, and the humility to receive correction when I need it. Transform my heart so I can reflect your grace and truth to those around me.”

Suggested Resources for Further Study